Broken doll
by SanctuaryCheyenne
Summary: Sequel to: Not the last vampire. Clarissa wakes up and needs to figure out what to do now. As she struggles with her true nature and her feelings for both Nikola and Helen. Part 2 of the Clarissa!Saga series
_\- You're father took you away from me –
\- You're just a stranger-  
\- Clarissa this is Nikola-  
\- You look just like her-  
\- I'm doctor Magnus and this is doctor Zimmerman-  
\- Good work Henry-  
\- If Magnus says it's nothing, then it's nothing. Get over it-  
-It's all gonna be fine- _

_"Clarissa, it's time to wake up"_

'I'm not hunger Helen'.  
'Nikola, even you need to eat'.

 _Nikola, she knew that name. There was a memory with that name, but she couldn't remember. It was at the tip of her tongue. She wanted to remember so badly, but she couldn't._

 _"Nikola"_

'Did you hear that?'  
'Did I hear what, Nikola?'  
'I thought I heard her speak'.

 _She needed to wake up. But it was like she was in the water and the waves kept her from reaching the surface. From breaking through that last bit of unconsciousness._

 _"Helen"_

'Did you…?'  
'Yes, I heard that. Clary, can you hear me? Can you squeeze my hand?'

 _"Helen"_

She heard a different voice now. Was that her voice?  
'Clary, can you squeeze my hand darling?'

She tried, she tried really hard but her arms felt numb.

 _"Can't"_

'It's alright, rest some more'.

* * *

'It's been five years, Helen'  
'She spoke, that's progress. You can't give up on her. Please Nikola. She really like you. Being near her, speaking to her, it will help her. She will wake, eventually. Just give her time, she has been through a lot'.

 _She could feel her arms, her legs, she could feel her eyelids trying to open.  
"Helen" she whispered, "Help"_

* * *

The light was blinding, to bright, to white. But she didn't wanna close her eyes again. Scared to go to sleep again. Scared that she would feel so helpless again. Not able to move, barely able to speak.

Her eyes were slowly getting used to the light. She was in an infirmary. She looked around and discovered that she was alone.

'Helen, Nikola' her voice sounded weak. She wanted to get up, find someone. Someone that could tell her what happened, that she was not dead. Because she felt weird, like her head was stuffed with cotton and all the strength in her body was gone.

'I'm just asking you to NOT deplete my wine cellar every time you're here' Helen walked in followed by Nikola and Will. When she turned toward Clary, she saw the girl was awake. Her heart skipped a beat and she blinked to make sure her eyes weren't deceiving her.

'Clary' her voice was soft, slow with a hint of hesitation in it.  
The young woman had her eyes fixed on her and a slight smile on her face.  
'You're awake' it was Nikola who spoke this time. 'Finally' he added quietly.  
'How long?' she asked.

The three looked at each other for a long time, debating whether to tell her or not.  
'Five and a half year'.

She had heard him say it before, in her dreams, but hearing it spoken out loud was still shocking.  
'Five and a half year' she repeated slowly, letting the words sink in and get a meaning.

Helen was now standing next to her, her wrist in her hand, feeling for a pulse. 'You should rest'

'NO, I mean…' what did she mean? 'I don't, I ….' She felt her eyes well up with tears 'please'.

'I'll stay with her' Nikola said, walking over to the chair next to the bed.

'Okay, I've a conference meeting in 10 minutes, but I'll be checking in on after that'.

Clary nodded and looked over to Will. 'It's good to have you back' he said and she just smiled at him.

When Will and Helen had left, only she and Nikola remained. There was an awkward silence before she spoke up.

'I could hear you' Nikola looked up at her, 'When I was…, I could hear you speak to. About Helen, Will and Henry. The complaining, the stories. I could hear them. I wanted to answer, but I couldn't'. The stupid tear were starting to well up again.

He moved his hand to cover hers. 'Clary, I never gave up hope. I've got forever and I would have waited forever. Helen and I, we would waited for you.'

'No, you did gave up. I heard you and I'm so sorry. I wanted to let you know, let you I was in here. You don't know what it was like' she was sobbing now.

'Hé, it's alright'. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, helping her sit up and rubbing her back. She felt her eyelids grow heavy again. She didn't wanna sleep again. Scared to not wake up again.  
'Nikola, don't leave. Okay? Just don't leave'.

* * *

When Helen walked into the infirmary, Clary was sitting up in bed eating little bits of apple. Nikola was sitting next to her on the bed and Clary had her head resting on his shoulder. 'Is it true you blew up the Sanctuary' she asked as Helen walked in. 'I told you' Nikola started, 'but I don't believe it until she says it. So is it true'.

Helen stood at the foot of the bed. 'It was necessary, the world needs to think I'm dead'.

'So much has happened. God it feels like I missed a lifetime. Five and a half years' She sighed.

'Hé, you've got a lot more time. Five years, it's nothing' Nikola said. Trying to cheer her up. She gave a little smile. 'When are you going to show me around' she asked.

Surely she was recovering fast but Helen didn't think she was ready yet. Physically she may be fine but emotionally It was a lot to take in. ' I want you to take it slow. I know you're feeling fine but you've been through a lot'.

She crawled to the foot of the bed, coming face to face with Helen.

'Please' she whispered. 'I said no' Helen said with a smile. 'But Nikola has been telling me all these stories and he is making it sound like a paradise. Please show me' she begged.

'first I want you to get some more rest and tomorrow evening if I say you are fine, then I will show you around'.

Clary went to sit down next to Nikola again, never breaking eye contact with Helen. 'Helen' she said softly. 'What happened when you found me'. Her voice so soft Helen almost had trouble hearing what she asked. She looked at Nikola, who looked right back before looking at Clary.

'Clary' Nikola started.

'She was there. I remember that. My mum. What did they do to her, was she always like that. She was so mean. And my dad, she told me they had taken care of my dad. What does that mean' tears were starting to well up.

She looked from Helen to Nikola.

'Does that means he's dead. He is dead isn't he?' she asked looking at Nikola. 'He is' she whispered. She felt a lump in her throat and sniffed.

She felt a slight pinch in her arm and when she looked she saw Magnus put away a needle. 'You need to rest'

'No I don't want to' she said, but she felt her eyelids getting heavy. 'I.. I.. I need to…'

Nikola saw the girl fall asleep and helped Helen put her to bed. 'we're going to need to tell her sometime'

'Not today Nikola. I don't want to rush things'. She walked towards the door, heading for her office. 'Coming' she asked.

'I think I'll stay'


End file.
